Do You Ever…

crying hard Do you ever have one of those days or weeks that you just want to curl up in a ball and disappear? What do you do? Do you know what causes it? I recently had this question placed to me by a friend when I was having one of those days that felt like it was going to crush me. Of course I was in no mood to answer the question at the time, and I told them to leave me alone.

For me and later after careful consideration, the answer is: I have those days when I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I’m unable to deliver people’s expectations of me, a lot of criticism all at once, and I have obligations that I still need to fulfill. When I have those days I end up needing to cry, and cry for as long as I need to without judgement, anyone else’s opinion, help, or words of advice whether they are kind words, comforting words etc. I just need to melt into a good old fashion crying jag. I only allow myself a certain amount of time to feel and express my tears (it’s comforting to me to allow myself to cry), and then I move forward.

I believe these times of feeling overwhelmed is life. Life is also great joy, feelings of great loss, gratitude, love, happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, patience, and all the emotions both good and bad. Sometimes we are so pressured to feel and express only good feelings that we feel guilty (another part of life) when we are not able to see the good in our lives. If you don’t feel like smiling keep it to yourself, and then all we see is our friends, neighbors, family, etc being so happy all the time, and that leads us to believe is that we are the only people that feel crappy about our lives. THIS IS NOT TRUE!

I believe that if you deny  your unhappiness, anger, frustration, etc you are not living your life to its fullest. Life is a wonderful heartbreaking, and joyful journey that has the capacity to teach us so many wonderful lessons along the way. When we deny negative feelings, never make mistakes and mourn those mistakes we can never learn some fantastic lessons that we will be able to utilize when helping someone else on their journey. We are so lucky to have this experience we call life, but we are only lucky if we allow ourselves to have the fullest experiences and emotions it has to offer.